Future of the Past

The promises I made in the past,
For a promising and bright future,
Now hold me tied to the past,
With the delusion of a certain future.

I shouldn’t have made them first,
For they distort my dreams often.
With this heavy burden, I went forward,
Although I progressed, I wasn’t happy.

I can’t be like you, and smile all the time,
You do act well, but I can’t fake it.
I may be cold for not smiling like you,
I thought I needed you, not anymore.

I doubted myself and my eyes were dark,
And I walked slow weighed by the future.
Instead of being scared I chose to be bold,
And I chose to face the uncertain days.

I withheld my tears and fought the pain,
I trusted you, and I let them flow.
You saw me weak for crying out loud,
You’ll never know the pain I endured.

You have these rules and regulations,
And all these reasons and all these laws.
I don’t want them to know what is right,
I want to feel in my heart what is right!

You say that I can’t fly; so let it be,
But I’ll never stop trying to touch the sky.
And I did reach out and basked in the blue,
From the clouds, I saw the whole world.

Amidst the sea of this vast blue hue,
I felt peaceful all alone in the solitude.
The dam I made to hold back my pain,
I let it go, and it rained melancholy and joy.

I’m done searching for the ever perfect song,
The one you promised that I would find.
In the quest for the song, I found a melody,
It is gentle and soothing, bitter and sweet.

Amidst all this sadness and frustrations,
And in all these trials and tribulations,
I forged my own rules and my shield,
I got broken, and I emerged even stronger.

If I learnt one lesson in this darkness,
Is that the light I seek is within me.
And all this pain and all this suffering,
Are all hurdles to test my resolve.

So I am not scared not any more,
For the delusional future, I once envisioned.
I now walk free without any burden or pain,
And someday I will forge my future.